People pleasing is the tendency to prioritize others before yourself in order to feel more secure in yourself and your relationships. People pleasers often struggle to set boundaries and may be overly agreeable. Sometimes they over-apologize and accept blame even when they don’t feel like they’ve done anything wrong. Additionally, people-pleasers want people to like them, and therefore they diminish their own needs. Oftentimes, people-pleasers have poor self-esteem, and so need others’ acceptance to feel good about themselves.
If you recognize yourself in the above description of people-pleasing, here are 7 tips to overcome it:
1. Practice acting, behaving, and operating out of a place of authenticity. Don’t do or say something you don’t mean just for the sake of getting someone else to like you.
2. Find ways to build up your self-esteem and self-image. Find things about yourself that you like, want to foster, and want to grow, and focus on those things.
3. Learn how to set boundaries. “No” is a full sentence. Learn to advocate and vocalize your own needs.
4.Practice prioritizing yourself. Ask yourself, “what do I need?” before asking others what they need.
5. Wait until someone asks you for a favor before offering.
6. Ask yourself if your relationships feel reciprocal. Healthy relationships are ones where you are able to give and take equally.
7. Talk to your therapist about people-pleasing. People-pleasing is often born out of childhood dynamics, and a therapist can help you dig into where these behaviors come from and help you heal and change your patterns. Schedule a free consultation today to get started.