Life in the professional lane always promises a challenge. Sometimes it’s learning new skills to level up your career. Other times it looks more like having to change literally everything about the way you work (thank you, global pandemic). But what many women discover is that while their work-life is ever evolving, this evolution leaves little space for the other 16 hours in the day. You know, when life is happening. Anyone who has experienced this knows that it feels overwhelming at best, and completely impossible at worst.
Finding a ‘balance’ between your professional life and everything that happens outside your 9 to 5 is touted as the key to making it all work. Feeling stressed or overwhelmed? How is your work-life balance? The gurus will ask. But is there really such a thing? When you find that life outside of work is really taking a toll, how easy is it really to just balance things out by scaling back? How often are work-life and the rest of your life really treated equally?
This is where work-life integration comes into play. Work-life integration is discussed by Stephen Kohler, CEO and founder of Audira Labs as “..centered on the belief that there is no distinction between the two (work and life) and that both must coexist in harmony,” Many women who play additional roles outside of work will know this sounds much more realistic than trying to balance everything equally.
The Invisible Workload of Women
Women who are parents or caregivers step out of one ‘work role’ only to step directly into another. You know, the job that is taking care of other people (usually at their own expense).
When we talk about the invisible workload of women, we’re referring to the emotional, mental, and sometimes physical burdens they carry for their entire families. “On top of working outside the home and/or being a homemaker, women often have to take on additional emotional labor in ways that their male counterparts don’t,” Zainah Ben Essa, LMHC, explains. “And because many workplaces and environments are male-dominated and originated in patriarchal norms, the structures in place aren’t usually conducive to women’s needs,” she adds.
And while women face these challenges and additional workloads at home, they also face similar problems at work. For example, being a woman in the workplace is synonymous with going above and beyond to make up for a perceived downfall that comes with also being a mom. If I have to take a slightly extended lunch break to get my kids to their dentist appointment, then I should probably stay online longer (than my work hours) to show my boss I’m committed.
While it’s an unspoken phenomenon, many employers expect their employees to leave personal things at home while they’re at work. And when we say employees, what we really mean is women. Because how often is a man reminded to keep an eye on the clock when they have to go to their child’s event at school during the workday? They aren’t. They are celebrated for being involved and great parents, compared to moms who are just expected to do it all.
How to Practice Work-Life Integration
Like the illusion of work-life balance, asking employees to leave their life at home isn’t realistic. So how can you practice work-life integration with your employer?
Flexibility as the rule, not the exception
When you are first hired, at regular performance check-ins, or really, anytime you’re asked to provide feedback, stress that flexibility is the rule, not the exception. If you need to go to a therapy session mid-day, you should have the flexibility to do so (even if it means taking sick time for a doctor’s appointment). You might not always be able to schedule time before or after work–that’s just how life works. And when you do go and take better care of your emotional and mental health, you’ll be less stressed, more focused, and better able to do your work.
Don’t take work home with you
Whether you work in your company’s physical location or work from home, when you’re done for the day, it’s time to unplug. This means setting important boundaries for yourself and for your employer. For example, even though, ideally, you’re reaching a point where work and life peacefully coexist, it doesn’t mean your employer gets access to you 24/7. Leave your computer in a different room. Do not add your work email to your personal device. Take time to rest and recharge.
Use your time off
Unlimited PTO is a benefit many employers offer to entice new talent while contributing to the illusion of work-life balance. And while they won’t directly come out and say it, it may feel like unlimited doesn’t really mean unlimited. Stay in regular communication with your managers. As long as you are getting the work done, take your time off as you need it. If you can prevent yourself from becoming burnt out, not only is it best for you as a person, but your employer will likely benefit as well with increased productivity.
Our therapists here at Let’s Talk Psychological Wellness are committed to helping you set boundaries in your professional and personal life. Learn strategies to practice work-life integration to help you find contentment. . Call, text, or email us.
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